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When our responses are grounded in Love, in meditation, mindfulness, and prayer, we all have a greater resonance for right-action or non-action. Both might be useful. In my life, it’s often been those little pauses, some minutes, some seconds, and some fractions of a second that have helped me keep a level head and a grateful heart. Without the pauses, I can easily fall into panic and overwhelm. I’m built that way. Without the pauses, I drop into old habits and ways of doing, thinking and responding. I can easily abandon flow, trust and being. The pauses allow grace in. I’m going to write that again … give it space. From this decision has flowed a career of sparkling lectures and thought-provoking books. He has an audience that spans a huge range of human experience from ageing nuns to exuberant eco-warriors. Many people are addicted to perfection, and in their pursuit of the ideal, they have no patience with vulnerability. (...) John O’Donohue (1 Jan 1956 – 4 Jan 2008) was an Irish poet, author, priest, and Hegelian philosopher. He was a native Irish speaker, and as an author is best known for popularising Celtic spirituality. (Wikipedia)
Celebrations of Life: Wild Child Reverend Scarlett’s memorial services honor people in the same ways they livedBut AMM Ministers don’t just marry people. When they choose to, their roles can extend much further, supporting their communities in important ways, and celebrating not just new beginnings, but endings, too. This deserves to be highlighted. I love this poem so much that I made an art print out of it and displayed it on our tribute table, along with some other favorite quotes of ours, at the wedding. In the photo above, you can see a much younger version of my dad on the left, and my mom on the right with my brother Mark and I blowing out birthday candles. Photos of photos!) Many people have already paid tribute to the priest and writer John O'Donohue, who died last week. John was buried today in county Clare. One of the most moving tributes I've read was written by Gareth Higgins. Gareth was a close friend of John's and introduced me to him a couple of years ago. I'm glad that he was able to travel to county Clare for the service. What gifts are hiding in this suffering? Personally, my gifts have come in the form of long, deep talks during daily walks and nightly games with my husband. The gifts are in sharing a glass of socially distant wine with friends across their porch. The gifts are in the solitude and quiet of every day.
If I were only able to take three poems with me for the rest of my life, this would be one of them, from Irish poet and philosopher John O'Donohue: Over the last few months I have very much been enjoying the writings and poetry of John O’Donohue. A writer of unique power to me (and many others), John captured a great sense of wonder of the natural world and a deep wisdom and kindness born from a life of studying philosophy and theology. He had also been a Catholic priest for 17 years and left that service to concentrate more on his writings.But John was no killjoy, wrapped in an ivory tower, looking askance at the preoccupations of ordinary mortals. He often touched down in our everyday world. He had a capacity for fun and the grace of being able to laugh at himself. He once took part with a group of friends in the Maynooth Song Contest. Mine would be: "May you feel the warmth that I have felt. May it flow like a river through your life." But being an anam cara requires of a purposeful presence — it asks that we show up with absolute integrity of intention. That interior intentionality, O’Donohue suggests, is what sets the true anam cara apart from the acquaintance or the casual friend — a distinction all the more important today, in a culture where we throw the word “friend” around all too hastily, designating little more than perfunctory affiliation. But this faculty of showing up must be an active presence rather than a mere abstraction — the person who declares herself a friend but shirks when the other’s soul most needs seeing is not an anam cara.
The word blessing evokes a sense of warmth and protection; it suggests that no life is alone or unreachable. Each life is clothed in raiment of spirit that secretly links it to everything else.” Aristotle laid out the philosophical foundation of friendship as the art of holding up a mirror to each other’s souls. Two millennia later, Emerson contemplated its two pillars of truth and tenderness. Another century later, C.S. Lewis wrote: “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” This afternoon, I recorded a short tribute of my own which will be broadcast as part of a montage of tributes tomorrow on Radio 4's Sunday programme. It turns out that the long interview I conducted with John in December is the last he ever gave (listen again here). On tomorrow's Sunday Sequence, I'll be talking to one of John's friends, Father Kevin Hegarty. John And Kevin were students together for seven years at Maynooth. In an article Fr Kevin wrote just before John's untimely death, he explains why John left the priesthood for the life of an independent writer. He writes: There have been many times in my life that I have felt helpless or even useless. Particularly in situations when I feel I have no influence or control: an aggressive or destructive weather pattern, a friend with an incurable disease who is in pain, a friend whose partner walked out, extreme political upheaval and of course pandemics, like the Corona Virus, that loom over all media platforms and test our faith in systems, as well as within ourselves.We are all called to respond in varying ways: professionals with skilled action, colleagues to boost morale, to be good neighbours and friends in looking out for one another, to be vigilant in our amplifying care and to tread softly with the varying emotional landscapes we find ourselves in, as the fear takes hold. We can always do something useful, worthy and kind. Anam Cara is a soul-stretching read in its entirety, exploring such immutable human concerns as love, work, aging, and death through the timeless lens of ancient Celtic wisdom. Complement it with poet and philosopher David Whyte on the true meaning of friendship, love, and heartbreak, then treat yourself to O’Donohue’s magnificent On Being conversation with Krista Tippett — one of the last interviews he gave before his sudden and tragic death. John, an Irish Catholic priest, with a gentle turn of phrase and wonderful insight, made a great impact in Celtic spirituality circles in the last 15 years or so, becoming a Greenbelt favourite. Sadly, he died suddenly, and unexpectedly last year, aged just 52 – but not without leaving us some gems. Reading it, I couldn't help but feel that it's as appropriate today as it's ever been, that it speaks to more than just marriage but to our relationships with one another on a grander, human scale. While many of our ministers only conduct wedding ceremonies, others also conduct baptisms, funerals, baby blessings, and other meaningful rites.
Every poet would like to write the ideal poem. Though they never achieve this, sometimes it glimmers through their best work. Ironically, the very beyondness of the idea is often the touch of presence that renders the work luminous. The beauty of the ideal awakens a passion and urgency that brings out the best in the person and calls forth the dream of excellence. One of my abiding memories of my time in college is of John, already in thrall to the rigorous charms of the German philosopher Heidegger, belting out with gusto that hymn to coy easy living, Blanket on the Ground.As O’Donohue says in this beautiful blessing, “And though the darkness is now deep, you will soon see approaching light.” command of the English language had become so rare and the skill to follow the rules of meter and phonics even rarer to the point that their numbers remained far too thin to raise enough money from annual dues for even an occasional modest bacchanal (as in the Calypso song Harry Belafonte recorded “Zombi Jamboree.”) As a result, they redefined poetry by inventing the very clever idea of free verse which allows anyone to become a self proclaimed poet and therefore a member. Now their motto is; “I came, I wrote, I conquered” and you don’t even have to be admired or even published in your lifetime, you can be discovered long after you are dead. I will offer a prayer, a blessing, a gentle way of being with all of this. One that supports my nervous system, my heart and my soul, planetary consciousness and beyond. Blessing for Courage by John O’Donohue
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